Tapenade, Cream and a Dachshund's Humble Request

In my experience, many people in Brooklyn are passionate about words and precise in their use of them. To wit: a few months ago I was on the (tele)phone, placing an order to the local burger joint. I always get the same thing, a turkey burger, with onions, mushrooms and olive paste. The woman taking my order corrected me. "You mean tapenade," she said. I guess I could have said I mean food processor-processed kalamata olives, but I didn't want to hold up the food unnecessarily, and to be fair, I couldn't be sure how their paste got made.

More recently, I was shopping at one of the local, expensive bodegas in our neighborhood. We call it the "New Koreans," because it is owned by a Korean couple and when it opened there was already another Korean-owned store across the street. We call the owners of that store the "Old Koreans," though not to their faces of course. Just to be clear, it is not that the Koreans themselves are old (though they are not spring chickens), but that their store is older than the newer store.

The "New Koreans" stock personal hygiene products behind the counter. As my clerk was ringing me up, I asked her if they had face lotion. The other clerk said "we don't have face lotion. We have face cream." Or maybe she said face creme. Again, I can't be positive, since I didn't ask her to clarify at the time, and I also didn't ask her to explain the difference between face lotion and face cream, though I am sure there must be one.

Because I respect precise language, I have decided to weigh in here with my own correction/contribution to the local lexicon. Please, please - do not refer to our dog Jesse as a weiner dog, a hot dog or a dash-hound! I really don't care much myself if you use these affectionate terms, but in this matter, Jesse feels quite strongly. He is a dachshund, he tells me, so call him by his right and dignified name! Badger hounds are fierce! And he'll skip the tapenade, thank you, and go straight for the burger, no matter what kind. Toppings are for chihuahuas.